i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
