Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
