Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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