Dual....:-)
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I just found a bag of teeth...
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
