So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
