windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
