Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
