Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
