Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
