I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
