I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
