I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
