I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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