the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
