At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
