Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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