Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
