I cannot find my penis.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
