Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
