Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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