final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
