we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
