Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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