Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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