We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
