That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
