you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
should my penis look like a turkey
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
