No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
