i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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