Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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