I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
