my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
50% drunk capacity currently
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
