so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
