he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
