the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
