dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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