Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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