that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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