My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
