windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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