I'll bet she douches with gravy.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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