Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
