You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
