sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
