their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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