apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
