This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
