worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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