Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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