i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
