Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
