His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
My vagina is very pro this idea
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
