i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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