I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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