What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
