brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Can you repeat that, but with context?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
