Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
