I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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